10 Years Later

While I'm on the topic of college dating, I thought I'd share another story, a shot in the arm of sorts, before the Lord brought the real deal into my life... Mr. Wike.

In my final semester of undergrad, I felt like the Lord spoke to my heart and said, "I'm going to bring someone into your life this summer, but I want you to do a couple of things to prepare yourself." My initial thought was, "Really? Was that really You, Lord? Cause if it is, I'm down... but..." Anyways, I decided to do the two assignments just in case.

The first was to read the book, "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." Great book, that I would definitely recommend. I had that one completed fairly quickly, and felt far more educated on the topic of the uniquenesses of men and women.

The second was inspired by something I'd read in the book, "Celebration of Discipline." It was written by a Pastor named Richard Foster. One of the chapters was on Confession, and Pastor Foster wrote of how in his early days as a pastor, he felt that he lacked power in his ministry. As he began to study historical spiritual leaders, he realized that the practice of confession to another human being was a discipline that has largely been lost in the Protestant Church. As a result, he chose to sit down and write out detailed lists of his sins from childhood, young adulthood and adulthood. He then confessed them all to a trusted friend. This became my second task.

One of my closest friends flew through California on her way to China for the summer, and we had the oppotunity to take a short trip to Catalina Island. Ten years earlier, I had prayed to receive Christ on this Island, and hadn't been back since, so it was a significant trip for me. She and I returned to the little man-made beach in Avalon where I gave my heart to the Lord, and there I confessed my sins to her. When we were done, I prayed, "Alright, Lord. If that was You, my parts done!"

That night my friend and I visited the young adults ministry at my church for the first time since I'd been back in California, and I met Daniel. It wasn't till the next week that I realized he was interested in me. I had spent the majority of that first evening telling him all about the screenplay I was writing. He apparently was intrigued.

We spent the majority of the summer hanging out, and a few weeks into it he asked, "So did you think you were going to meet someone this summer?" Through a smile, I said yes, and told him my story. He laughed and said, "Do you want to hear my story?"

About 5 months earlier, Daniel had been praying with one of our prophetic pastors about his future spouse. He was in his late 20's, and definitely had marriage on the mind. As they prayed, the pastor said, "Do you know anyone named Laura, Laurie, Laur... I'm just getting that name for you." Daniel did not, so they moved on. Then, about a week before we met, they were praying again, and the pastor said, "I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I think the Lord's going to bring someone into your life pretty soon." And what do you know.

Normally I'm not really fond of of prophetic words that speak to romantic relationships, but in this case things seemed to line up. We both thought immediately that this type of meeting automatically meant that we were destined to be married. But that is not what the Lord had said. We drew our own little conclusions. ;) By the end of that summer we had figured out that destiny was not winding our paths together, and we parted on good terms.

So what was this all about? I definitely asked myself that question. No doubt it was a blessing to feel encouraged in the fact that I was desirable and someone could feel this way about me after a long season of not much dating at good old Wheaton. I also think there's value in just getting to know people even if something serious doesn't come of it. That leads me back to my philosophy on dating, which is significantly influenced by Henry Cloud's book, "How to Find a Date Worth Keeping." Maybe I'll touch on that at some point. We'll see. ;)

Ring That Bell

This is the Tower at Wheaton College where all the engaged couples go to proclaim their joy to the world through the ringing of the tower bell. The top floor looks like a cultic worship site from all those who have climbed the stairs, rung the bell, and left something behind to commemorate the big event. :) I have visited the Tower with friends, but am only now considering actually ringing it when I return for my 10 year reunion in 2011 with my husband who came along a little later in life.

Dating at Wheaton was weird. I guess that's no surprise, since dating among Christians can be weird anywhere. But if you throw in the "Ring by Spring or your money back!" mentality, it gets even more complicated. You understand. I was one who refused to participate in this mind set, though of course would not have been opposed to something great if it presented itself along the way. My greatness came later... about 7 years later, to be exact. But I was thankful for my single years, and milked them for all they were worth when it came to investing in the Kingdom!

Nonetheless, I am a woman, and my heart did yearn for relationship. There was a period in time while at Wheaton where I prayed, "Lord, I would like to go on more dates, but I don't want to initiate! Can you help me out with that?" I could hardly believe it when He did!

That week I was asked out 4 times. This was very unusual. The first invitation came from a young man named Matt. He called and left a message on my answering machine to see if I'd like to go to the Mongolian Bar-B-Q that week. I called him back and let him know that was my favorite restaurant! "I know," came his reply. :) We had a great time.

Another young man name Andy walked up from behind me as we were heading towards the Billy Graham Center to class. He said, "How come I don't know you yet? We have all the same friends in common! I think we should know each other." He proceded to invite me out to lunch.

Two other young men invited me to meals that week as well. None of these guys had particularly serious intentions, which was actually nice, but I was still taken-aback that this type of prayer was answered! God cared about these needs of my heart! Later I tried praying this prayer again, and nothing happened, which made me laugh, but I always have this experience to look back to. God knows how He made us, and even if His best isn't planned for the immediate, he wants His kids to know that they are loved. I felt loved and blessed, and encouraged that God had this part of my life in His hands.

This Is My Body, Part II

I was always a tom boy growing up, and an athlete for as long as I can remember. I have also been a Christian since I was 12, and was mentored in my early years by a man, so my feminine attributes were never of utmost importance to me. I really don't think I started wearing make-up consistently until college, and didn't realize that something might seriously need to change until long after that!

I think it was when I was a youth pastor in Malibu, CA (age 25/26) that I began to understand that my physical appearance could actually make a difference in the Kingdom of God. I started realizing that my personal presentation made a difference in how seriously people took the spiritual things I had to say... at least in Malibu. :) I don't think this realization fully hit me until after I'd gone through my "Makeover" and I saw how involved God was in the process.

This transformation in my life started when I read Henry Cloud's book called, "How To Find a Date Worth Keeping." Great book, btw! I was visiting Louisiana with my good friend Kim, when I read Dr. Clouds suggestion to ask a friend to be honest with you about something that was not attractive about you. Kim was all to willing! "The hair," she said! "We've got to do something about the hair!" Of all the things she could have said, it's funny to me that she started with my hair, but it did at least get the ball rolling.

We made general plans to go see our friend Kristin's hair-dresser, cause she really like him and thought he would be great for me, but he just kept not being available.

During this time, I was working at a gym, but was going to be starting at another position shortly, where I would have to dress up to go to work. Also during this time, I went to a conference at a church in Pasadena. I went to a seminar for youth leaders, and had two young gentlemen, whom I'd never met before, pray prophetically over me at the end of the session. Mind you, we were there for youth ministry, but this is what they prayed! One said, "I'm getting this picture of you taking off a sweatsuit and putting on a dress." The other said, "I believe you're going to start dressing differently and doing your hair differently." REALLY??!! Come on, God! I didn't know you cared about that stuff! A prophetic word about how I dress and what I look like?! You really are bigger than my little human brain has conceived.

So I started my new job, incidentally at a company called "Chrysalis." This is the name of the cocoon that a caterpillar hides-out in while it's transformed into a butterfly! I was only there for one month, but during that time received an email from an acquaintance at church. She explained that she and her family owned a company called Body Beautiful, and they were looking for people who might be interested in a "Makeover" with $1500 worth of free consulting, etc. All I'd need to provide was money for new clothes, and they'd go shopping with me, do a full style analysis, hair-cut/color, etc. They wanted to use the before & after pictures for their company's website. I could hardly believe what I was reading!! One of the high school students that I mentored at the time was actually with me at work that day, and I remember showing her the email and staring at each other in disbelief! Could this be anymore perfect!! I couldn't respond fast enough!

We got started soon thereafter, and met several times throughout the course of a couple weeks. If you want to see more pictures and read about the process, check out their website at www.bodybeautifulonline.com. We completed the process on a Friday afternoon, just in time for our young adults group that night. When I got there, I kid you not, a guy I'd known for many years, saw me across the room. When I said hi, he responded in kind, but racked his brain trying to figure out how in the world he knew me!

After the makeover was complete, my friends came over to my house, and helped me go through my closet and figure out how to sustain these new changes that I was already loving! I still prefer going shopping with friends who are a little more naturally gifted in this area than I am, and am thankful for a husband who has a great sense of style! :) But I've come a long way, baby!! And I'm so thankful.

My favorite comment at the end of this process came from my friend Sharon Rhodes. She said, "Now your outsides match your insides!" And the Kingdom of God is advancing in ways I never thought about before! Just a few months ago, I went shopping with several girlfriends, one who'd come out of a homosexual lifestyle. She wanted to be more feminine, but really just didn't know how to get there herself. I wasn't the one picking out clothes for her, per say, but I was there for moral / "Laurel" support, as an encouragement that transformation is possible.

Some people may not want to change or be called to change in this way, but I am thankful that this was part of the grace the Lord had in store for me. This experience has opened my eyes to see that God cares about things that I would naturally judge as unspiritual. I've found, and hope I never forget, that the spiritual world touches a lot more of the natural world than might be percieved at first glance. Come open our eyes, Lord Jesus, that we might see You in the hidden places.

In Loving Memory

I don't feel like I have closure in my writing on this topic of my Dad's life and death, until I include the poem/song that I wrote, which was also a part of his Memorial Service Bulletin. I read it at his first service, then put it to music with some friends, and played the recording at his boat memorial.

In Loving Memory

"Where do I begin? There's so much to remember.
This time alone brings back a flood of memories.
The questions that you asked, the stories that you told,
The things you did, few men could be so bold.


Your memory's so real inside,
It's something that I cannot hide.
I look around and see traces of you.
In "J" and me our mom can see,
The life from you that's still to be.
Your spirit lives, your memory will too.
Our hearts will never be without you.


I was gone all summer, you sent me on my way.
I loved my time in Israel, you must have worried every day.
I got home safe to say goodbye, with just one day to spare.
I'm glad God let you wait for me, I guess He found it fair.

Dad, we know you loved us; and mom, she knew it too.
She'd never doubt your faithfulness, there was no reason to.
You died at home right in her arms, you'd have wanted it that way.
She cried to you, but we both knew that you had gone away."

Dr. Charles Justin Swigert - a.k.a. "Dad"

So no, this is not a picture of my Dad... as you may know, it is Albert Einstein. I do, thankfully have pictures of my Father, but none electronically accessible at the moment. And I think Mr. Einstein is a fair representation of my Dad's heart and mind. Fun-loving, brilliant, and a bit eccentric! Dad always thought if it weren't for the family he would have turned into a mad scientist, and we never doubted it a bit!

After my last post, I thought I'd include a copy of what my girlfriend read from Dad's Memorial Service Bulletin. He was pretty impressive, and I'm really proud of him. Though my children will never get to meet him, I still want them to know him.

Dr. Charles Justin Swigert

"C.J. was clearly destined for a scientist's life ever since he built his own wind tunnel in the family basement. Graduating from Evanston Township High School in the top 10 percent of his class, C.J. continued his education at Princeton University. He graduate Cum Laude in Electrical Engineering in 1961, after which he earned his M.A. degree in Aeronautical Engineering (with a minor in Linguistics) from the University of Michigan and his Ph.D. in Biomedical/Electronic Engineering and Computer Science from UC Berkeley.

C.J. lectured at Berkeley for several years before entering the private sector as a research scientist and became one of the architects of the govenment Star Wars strategy and technology. In addition to working on government contracts, he also worked out of his home office after moving to the Palisades in 1975. As president of Electromag, he held several patents for his inventions.

C.J. was active in the community, volunteering his time to work with his son Justin's Boy Scout troop and his daughter Laurel's Indian Princess tribe. He worked closely with potential Eagle candidates from Troop 223, seeing them through the complicated process of obtaining the highest rank in scouting. He and the other Indian Princess fathers became such good friends they continued their meetings long after the girls were too old to participate in the program. When his children were younger, C.J. was active at Palisades Elementary School, serving as PEP board President and was a driving force behind the implementation of the school's first computer class.

In addition to his loving wife, Karen, C.J. is survived by his two children, Justin (a senior at UC Santa Barbara) and Laurel (who attends Wheaton College in Illinois); his mother, Marjorie Helm Swigert; his brother, Thomas (wife Sue); and his sister, Margaretta. He was preceded in death by his faterh, Dr. Verne Swigert, and his brother, Stevenson."

The Lighter Side of Death

When my Dad passed away, we realized quickly that we couldn't cry all the time, so we decided to laugh too. We remembered stories about my Dad that were entertaining, to say the least, and even created a few new stories that made us chuckle in the midst of our days of sadness.

One of my favorite stories is from when my brother and I were discussing Dad's laptop computer, after his passing, before I returned to college. I wanted to take it with me, as there were at least 5 others at the house that Mom could use if she had need (Dad was an Electrical Engineer, and loved his computers!). Justin was strongly opposed to this idea, as Dad hated the thought of laptops at college. This was due to the fact that they were too easy for someone to pick up and walk away with. After several minutes of heated discussion, I got frustrated. Without thinking, I vented, "So who died and left you in charge!?!?!" Justin paused for a second with a look on his face that seemed to say, "Are you serious?" When he finally pushed words out of his mouth, he said, "Ummmm, Dad?" It wasn't till then that I realized what I had said. It was a moment of decision... we could laugh or cry. We laughed... really hard!

In September of that year, a good friend of mine from college just happened to be home in Califormia the same weekend that I flew home for my Dad's Boat Memorial. As a result, she joined us on the boat, and we flew back to Illinois together. On the plane ride home she was reading the tribute to his life from the service bulletin, and exclaimed enthusiastically: "You're Dad's like the smartest man alive!!!!" I laughed internally and responded wittingly, "Yes, except for one thing... the alive part!" She felt horrible, but my light-heartedness quickly disarmed her. We got a good laugh, and I'm sure Dad was smiling in Heaven.

This Is My Body, Part I

My Dad was 59 when he passed away. For his 60th birthday we had a special family memorial to scatter his ashes to the sea. I flew back to California for the weekend and we took out a small boat into the Marina, where he used to frequent in his younger days. His body had been cremated, and his ashes were contained in a plastic bag in a wicker basket with rose petals placed over the top. Before we left the harbor, my Mom offered me the opportunity to touch/feel his remains. I was nervous, but knew I would regret it if I didn't. I moved the flower petals aside and dipped my fingers into the ashes. I rubbed them together between my fingers. It was a sensation I knew I'd never forget.

Several months later I was back at school. It was a Campus Wide Day of Prayer, and we had an All School Communion in the evening. For some reason that night I just felt that I had to go... like there was some sort of Divine appointment waiting for me. I've learned to follow these promtings.

That evening our Chaplin shared a brief message, and then called us forward to take the bread and the wine. Communion can be served in different ways, but this night there were people positioned around the chapel who held held full loaves of bread & chalises of grape juice. I went to one of them and broke off a small piece to dip in the juice. When I took the bread to my mouth, the grape juice dripped down my arm, and gave me a sensation of the blood of Christ. In the moments that followed, I rubbed my fingers together to remove the bread flour from my fingers. I was immediately taken back in time. The last time I felt this feeling, it was my Dad's body. This time it was what represents the Body of Christ. Communion has never been the same for me since.